I charged into 2016 like a bowling ball spinning quickly
down the lane towards the pins, each pin being a goal I set for myself. The
thing is, I’m actually a horrible bowler and if we were to measure my 2016
goals with bowling pins, I’ve only knocked down about half of them. I guess
it’s a good thing that 2016 can be measured in so much more than bowling pins.
Yes, I set goals for myself, and yes, I only accomplished about half of them.
But here’s the thing – when I look back on 2016 and everything I’ve done, and
everywhere I’ve been, the glass is completely and utterly half full. I invite you to take a trip down
memory lane with me as I recount how special and unique each day is, and share
the value of what one short year really means for each of us.
January began like every other year, full of hopes and
dreams and big ideas. I went to a conference in New York City at the end of the
month with my “romantic” travel buddy and co-worker. Her I explored the city,
saw Kinky Boots, met up with old friends, made new friends, and wandered around
Central Park in the snow. We found the best lattes in the city (Bibble &Sip and Blue Dog Kitchen), and became experts at navigating the subway system like
New Yorkers.
In February, I was introduced to Soul Cycle and fell in
love. When you mix a dance party with a dark room, blaring music that gets your
blood pumping, and instructors that somehow always have the right message that
speaks directly to your heart, you have no other choice but to become addicted,
obsessed.
In March, I finally did something I’ve been talking about
doing for years. I did a solo yoga retreat at Sagrada Wellness - highly recommend this place for a retreat! I met two really
incredible women there who challenged me on what it means to be truly happy and
living the life that I’m meant to live, for me. I had applied to nursing school
but gave notice I was quitting my job after five amazingly opportunistic years
in April, before I knew if I was accepted to nursing school or not. I had such
a strong gut feeling that it was going to work out in my favor so I took a huge
leap of faith. Also in April, I decided to make the switch from insulin
injections to an insulin pump. That may have been the single most important and
freeing decision I made this entire year. The pump has given me back so much
freedom in managing a chronic disease that is type one diabetes.
In May I ended a yearlong relationship with someone who I
really loved and still care for. He probably doesn’t know this, but our
relationship defined commitment for me. Like anything in life, things don’t always
work out the way you thought they would, but that’s ok. There’s a reason for it
all. Right about the time we broke up, I celebrated (yes, celebrated!) my
two-year anniversary with type one diabetes. I’ve told a few people this, but
the craziest thing about my life with diabetes is that I can’t even remember
what it was like to live without it. I know that doesn’t make sense on paper –
I lived 27 years without it and have only had it for two years, but it’s true.
Before the finger pricks, and the insulin injections, and the carb counting,
what was life like? I can’t even remember. I also credit type one for saving my
life. I know it can be hard to wrap your head around how a chronic and lifelong
disease could save your life, but what I really mean is that diabetes gave me
life, and it gave me purpose. I have no other choice but to be extremely
grateful for that opportunity to live life in each moment – to be here, now.
The end of May I took a trip with my mom and sister to Zion
National Park. This trip was super special for me. We got to see Peter Pan at
the Red Rocks Amphitheater (KILLER setting for a stage), relaxed by the river,
and hiked some beautiful trails. In fact, I think my family disowned me on this
trip for making them wake up at 5am (neither of them are morning people) to go
hike a strenuous Angel’s Landing with me (neither of them are avid hikers
either!). But hey, at least we got coffee first! I was really proud of my mom
for making it ALL the way to the top of this hike. Angel’s Landing is a steep
hike, with narrow ledges, and chains at the top and they call it Angel’s
Landing because it’s so high up only angels can land there. You get to the top
and you’ll see what I mean. It’s worth every single step.
I found out in June that I got accepted into the University
of San Francisco’s Entry Level Master’s of Nursing program, just weeks before I
celebrated my last day at my job of five years. What a relief that good news was…!
I also took a trip with some of my very best friends to Lake
Arrowhead for the weekend and subsequently got a ticket in the mail weeks later
for driving in the “express lane” that I knew nothing about. Some of the
highlights include making summer brew in a cooler which we dragged a mile down
to the beach and waded across the lake to drink it on somebody else’s dock (which
we thought was our own), getting a ride on some guy’s boat because we called
him over to pet his dog, double French braiding everyone’s hair like we were on
the 7th grade girls’ volleyball team again, and giving our crew the
name Loch Leven Seven which included six girls and the tiniest dog alive.
July brought about a lot of changes. I moved out of my
amazing duplex home in Culver City, threw all my stuff in storage (aka mom’s
and sister’s houses) and headed up to Oregon to visit my long time friend since
preschool and her husband! With equal parts hiking, waterfalls, wine, beer, and
binge watching the entire season of Stranger Things, we adventured through
Oregon letting the directions of the compass be our guide. We went West to
Florence, a coastal Oregon city and took the hobbit trail down to the beaches,
North to Silver Falls State Park where we hiked ten waterfalls in seven miles,
and East to Willamette National Forest where we soaked in Cougar Reservoir, a
natural hot springs with five pools and shared a picnic on a row boat in the
middle of Clear Lake. I also fell in love with Cucumber Sour beers by 10 Barrel
Brewing Co. (which are RIDICULOUSLY hard to find in California, so if you find
any send them my way!) and a Malbec Rose from Silvan Ridge Winery. Who knew you
could use Malbec and Rose in the same sentence?! YUM!
I moved into my new apartment in Orange, CA in August and
the very next day I took off to Bass Lake to spend another summer with Sierra Sleep-Away (the absolute BEST outdoor water sports camp around in my totally
unbiased opinion). This was the first time since being diagnosed that I felt
like I had a diabetic emergency. My Omnipod insulin pump failed. And then it
failed again. And then it failed AGAIN for the third time. (Side note - for all
my diabetic pod friends out there, the horrible sound the pump makes when it
malfunctions can be easily stopped by sticking a paper clip into the tiny green
hole on the wider end of the pump underneath the white sticky piece.)
It was a Friday at 4:55pm when the third pod failed and
getting a hold of someone in my doctor’s office to fax in a prescription for an
insulin injection pen brought me to actual tears. For the first time since
being diagnosed, I realized how helpless it makes you feel when you don’t have
access to insulin. I was terrified I would end up in the hospital that weekend
and pissed that I wasn’t getting the help I needed. Even with the pen, my blood
sugar still shot up over 400 in the 3 days I was without my pump. The lesson
learned here is ALWAYS travel with both types (long and fast acting) of insulin
pens!
I survived that camping trip and got back to Orange just in
time to start nursing school! A couple weeks later, I mourned the loss of the
dad of two girls I used to coach in basketball to a two year fight against a
rare form of cancer. He brought everyone along in his journey through his blog
and I always thought he would make it through. Turns out, God had other plans
for him. I just want to pass on his legacy with one simple phrase…
KINDNESS…MORE.
In October, I turned 30! In the months leading up to my
birthday I thought a lot about what I wanted to do to celebrate. When it all
came down to it, I wanted to do something that I really love to do with the
people that I really love to spend time with. I decided to go camp on the beach
in Malibu. We built our own fire, made tin foil dinners, drank whiskey and
wine, and roasted s’mores. By the way, are you ready for a s’mores life hack
right now?! Use REESE’S instead of Hershey’s chocolate. Trust me on this one. My
sister also threw me a surprise birthday dinner and I was fortunate enough to
see Jimmy Buffett in concert with another dear friend of mine.
November was a rough month for me, like it was for so many
Americans. The election results were devastating and I’ve had several
conversations post-election with friends and family that have been raw,
emotional, and not without tears. You’re entitled to your own beliefs and I
won’t get into a political debate here, but I believe that human decency,
kindness, and respect for all people are REAL THINGS. Apparently there is a
large population of people who do not agree with that.
And just like that, we’ve made it to December! The holidays
are my favorite time of year because people really make an effort to connect again
with their loved ones. There’s so much magic and love in the air and everyone
is thinking about how they are going to become bigger, better versions of
themselves in the upcoming year. It’s really cool to see.
I lost a friend and incredible human being in a motorcycle
accident earlier this month. He was only 32. His death taught me a lot about
what it means to truly engage with people when you are in their presence, and how
everyone has value in this world. He was humbly intelligent, charismatic,
cosmopolitan, and embodied what it means to march to the beat of your own drum.
We all could afford to do a little more of that.
I finished my first semester of nursing school and surprised
myself with how well I did. I now have three weeks left of winter break, which
I will be spending in Guatemala…
2016 has been a year full of change, opportunity,
reflection, and growth. But, all chapters must end before you can start a new
one. Each year, I’ve tried to come up with a word or phrase that will become my
focus for that year. In 2015, it was simplify. 2016 was focused on change
and growth. 2017 can only be captured by understanding there’s
no tomorrow. Each morning begins in black and white, and you alone are
charged with adding your own colors. Such is the beauty of life.
Wishing everyone, everywhere a safe and Happy New Year’s,
and may your 2017 be full of life, love, and laughter - always.
xo
Torrey
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