The Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes exactly two weeks ago today, on May 14, 2014. After a three year struggle with a ton of random symptoms and no answers, I finally got the phone call that would change my life, for the better I'd like to think.

Three years ago, I got really sick. Now when I say sick, I'm talking 103 fever for a week, unable to eat, couldn't keep food or anything at all in my system, plagued with shakes and shivers and sweats. I lost 20lbs and couldn't gain it back for a year. You can read more about it in a previous blog post here. The doctors just said it was a nasty virus, that I had parasites. After that, I began my three year battle with negative test results and being treated for things I didn't have. All of a sudden, I had skin rashes and welts, was being treated for stomach ulcers and undergoing an $1000+ endoscopy, and saw a GI specialist. All tests came back negative. Those symptoms started to go away about a year after they began.

Then last August, I noticed swelling in my left leg. I had been at the lake hiking and camping and wakeboarding and thought maybe I pulled or twisted something, or was bitten by a bug of some sorts. I came back to LA with the swelling and it never went down. I ended up seeing a podiatrist, an orthopedist and had an ultrasound for blood clots, an MRI and XRay to look for torn ligaments or broken bones. Nothing hurt, and all those tests came back negative as well. I then reached out to a vascular surgeon who suggested I see a lymph specialist. I probably would have spent more time in her office had they accepted my insurance- and thank God they didn't.

About six weeks ago, I started telling my trainer about my leg swelling and other symptoms that I was experiencing; waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, sudden shakes and sweats and blacking out in the middle of the day, etc. It was then that she told me she was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes about six months ago and had been having a lot of similar symptoms. I still didn't believe that I had diabetes. One Sunday afternoon, I was walking in Venice with my sister and another friend and I had another episode where I started to get shaky and sweaty all of a sudden. Once again, the conversation led back to diabetes. I decided maybe I should go in.

I made an appointment with my primary doctor to get a blood test. When I went in and showed her the swelling in my leg, she prescribed me blood thinners and referred me to a bone and muscle tumor specialist and ignored my request for a blood test. It was time to take matters into my own hands.

I called the endocrinology department at UCLA the next day and made an appointment to get my blood drawn. My initial blood tests came back with higher than normal blood glucose levels and my doctor told me I had "prediabetes." WHAT?!

She ordered another round of blood tests to be done (which were horrible but I'll save that for another post). She was looking for certain hormones and antibodies that would indicate if it was Type 1 or Type 2. (More on the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 in a a later post.) To make a long story short, she called me the morning of May 14, 2014 to tell me that my tests came back very positive for Type 1. I went in to see her that day and was immediately sent to the pharmacist where I left with over $100 of insulin and insulin testing supplies, a blood glucose meter, and no direction on how to use any of this stuff. 

To be clear, I had been praying for something to be positive so I could finally have an explanation for all the things I had experienced over the past couple years. When I got that phone call, I was actually really relieved. It's funny to think that relief was my first emotion but in a way, my trainer had prepared me for this sort of diagnosis. I felt like it would all be ok.

Then I had to start telling certain people- my family, friends and my work. Let me tell you something- the worst part about this diagnosis isn't that my pancreas doesn't produce insulin correctly, it isn't that I could gain weight from the artificial insulin I have to use now, it isn't that I have to prick my finger 6 times a day or inject myself with insulin every night or even the fact that I have a potentially life-threatening illness. The worst part of it all is that all of a sudden I'm in the spotlight and receiving more attention than ever before.

Let me clarify. I feel tremendously guilty and extremely ungrateful for saying that. I am so beyond grateful for the outpouring of love and support I have received. I guess what I mean to say is that everyone has their own struggles that they deal with and mine is no different. People assume I must be "devastated" with such a diagnosis and the thing is, I'm not. Life goes on and nothing has changed for me except for a few finger pricks and injections here and there.

The truth of the matter is, I don't want my peers (close family and friends) to begin to resent me for the attention this disease has garnered for me. I do need their support and understanding because there will be days where I absolutely don't feel well. But don't we all have days like that?

I didn't ask for this to be a part of my life, but it is. In fact, I begged people not to treat me any differently because I don't see this as an "uphill battle" that I now have to fight. I see this diagnosis as a part of my life that maybe one day, with any luck, will inspire others. A life that might grant insight and shed some light on the illness in adults. A life that perhaps one day could provide some kind of scientific research for doctors that could help save someone else's life. God has a plan and it's bigger and better than any plan I could have ever had for myself. I'm strong enough to handle this and brave enough to do it with a smile on my face, and it's all because my strength comes from the Lord. This disease, while potentially life-threatening, is no different than the many different kinds of struggles you all face everyday. This one just happens to be mine.

Life is so beautiful and even when it's ugly, there is still light. And until heaven meets earth, I am still going to live life the way He intended us to live it- full of love and rich with purpose.

The power of prayer is true and it's real. Don't waste another day unhappy- we've all got something we're dealing with and you never know when one phone call could change your life.