A Man Like You

Happy Birthday to my dearest Grandma aka "Kool Kat" and may he live on in our hearts forever.

I think it's been 18 years since you took your last breath, 
And not a day goes by without a thought of you in my head.
If I could, I'd bring you back, if only for a day
There's nothing more that I want than to hear what you have to say.
The way you shot home videos and only focused on her
Her smile, her laugh, and her special sense of humor.
I could tell you really loved her, I could see it through your eyes,
What a special love you had for all of your life.
I know she really misses you even though she doesn't say it much
But when I ask about you her eyes light up and she tells me of your gentle touch.
If you were here I'd hug you first and never let you go
To make up for all time lost when you couldn't watch us grow
But it's alright and it's ok because if you were here I'd bet you'd say
That you love the woman I've become and my little sister too.
You've been watching all of us from Heaven with God and his whole crew.
You'd tell us not to lose hope or stop chasing our dreams
That we have so much to offer, that our hearts are strong and true.
And as you spoke I'd sit back in my chair and pray for a man like you.
If you were here we'd order up a couple of ice cold beers
And I'd get to know you as a man, a friend, and listen to everything that you hold near.
My single wish would bring you here so we could play a little game
I'd probably ask you what you loved the most and maybe your biggest regret,
About the time you fell in love with her or how you even met.
I'd ask you why you left so soon because we never had the chance
To know a man like you.
I think you'd tell me to live with love in my heart
Because that's what makes the world go 'round
And I know you're smiling down on us tucking us in every night
And making sure we're safe and sound.
A man like you is hard to find and we miss you everyday
But I want you know your spirit and soul live on through us in a truly special way.
Thank you for loving her so much and giving them the world.
The day we all meet again will be long overdue, but until then
We're all so blessed to have known and loved and had
A wonderful man like you.

In loving memory of my Papa, Tony Greenelsh.
May he rest in peace forever.
9.24.1934 - 8.23.1997

Worth.

You. You're worth the single grumbling in my tummy telling me I've been hungry since before we met tonight. The same one that gets louder as time goes on.

You're worth me pretending I'm not tired, and covering my yawns,

Just so we can stay up all night and keep talking 'til dawn.

You're worth the drive and worth the wait,

Worth every second that it takes.
You're worth the laugh and worth the smile,
Even if just for a little while.

To ease your worry and soothe your pain,

To help you realize you can love again.

If this is all it ever was and all it ever will be,
In this moment, I want you to know, you've been worth it all to me.

February.

We spend February forgetting about the promises we made to ourselves,

Instead sipping wine and hot cocoa,

And peeking at red roses like they matter to us at any other time of the year.

We try to convince ourselves that we either love love, or that we hate it.

Pretending we're in love, inspired by love, 

Secretly hoping for it to appear like a magic trick in our lives.

We spend February wondering if love even knows what love is.

Blind to all but two and recklessly brave.

Illusional. Perhaps a bit delusional.

Yesterday we were in love with tomorrow, but today we're in love with today.

-Torrey Leigh McKnight-

Roots and Wings

He's not a project, I don't see him like that.
He's a person, with feelings.
And he's not perfect.
But neither am I.
So he's going to grow, and I'm going to grow,
But the real question is how we grow together.

-Torrey Leigh McKnight-


"If everything is dipped in gold, then baby it will never grow." -J'hene Aiko "Stay Ready"

The Corner We Stand On

We keep on pretending that we don't even care.
I guess we think that would be easier.
But the more we pretend we don't, the more we realize how much we actually do.
And it hurts worse having to pretend you don't,
When all you want to do is throw your arms around him and kiss him 'til the sun goes down,
But we longingly walk away instead.
And it scares us more to love than to hate, 
And we fight because it's all a game.
Neither of us want to give in, because someone, somewhere along the way told us that made us weak.
We were told we never needed anybody and we could take care of ourselves.
Trust no one, they said.
We always think the worst because it's easier to prepare yourself to be let down than to be blindsided by it.
But the truth is, we have to go through life allowing ourselves to be affected by others.
Those feelings breathe life into our souls, and without them, we're nothing but a body.
When I choose faith over fear, I know in my heart I'd rather be with you than without.
And that scares me to death, but it means I'm alive.
I'm not asking you to love me, I'm asking you to trust me. 
I'm asking you to trust yourself.

January

We spend January planning brighter days, 
wishing for things,
hoping for all of our wildest dreams to come true.
We spend January alone in our thoughts,
wondering how this year might be different,
how this year we might change.
We spend January in love with tomorrow.

-Torrey Leigh McKnight

XIV Series by Torrey Leigh McKnight