Reflections on the Water

Chicago Day 1 (June 19, 2013): Thoughts blow through my mind like the wind in this city. A city I’ve always dreamed of visiting but didn’t really set my sights on it becoming a reality until this conference for work came up. I can’t believe I’ve never been here! I woke up at 6:00am to the glimmers of sunshine that played peek-a-boo on my face. Even though I only slept four hours and it is 4:00am California time, I can’t sleep. I roll around in bed texting a friend of mine who by some miracle is also awake. I roll out of bed at 6:45am, eager to put on my running shoes and hit the pavement in this new and exciting city. As I drove in last night my cab driver explained how to get to the lake, which is only steps from my hotel.

I lace up my shoes, turn on my music, and start the GPS as I head down the elevator. Eleven floors. Once outside, I start jogging the way my cabbie told me. Up the street, make a right at the light. I turn the corner and I see the water. It’s cool to see the sun rising over the lake from the east. I’m so used to seeing the sunset over the water, so it’s a pleasant and welcomed change. I run along the path with the water to my left and a gorgeous city skyline to my right. A girl could get used to this. A little over a mile into the run and the path veers southwest, away from the lake. I decide to turn around and keep the water/skyline view in my horizon. I run this loop twice not wanting it to end, but 4 miles is enough for the morning. If I didn’t have a conference and if I wasn’t starving (per usual) I would have kept running. Perhaps I’ll revisit the lake again tonight. Maybe I’ll go just to sit and relax. Weird to think about not having a sunset to watch go down over the water.

For now I sit at a table for two by the window and eat my roasted red pepper, spinach, and mozzarella omelet alone. I’m staring at the empty seat across from me, not wishing anybody in particular to appear. I like this time to myself. I feel independent and relaxed. I can sit and think about everything or nothing, whatever I choose. I can connect with the world via my iPhone or I can disconnect, and engage myself with the people walking by my little nook. I’m immersed in them and in my notebook right now. All I can really focus on is how much I am at peace right now. I can only focus on how very fortunate I am to be blessed beyond words with opportunity, both professionally and personally. Life has provided so many gifts and blessings and I am truly humbled by God’s amazing grace. It is because of Him that life is so beautiful and I am so very, very grateful for that.

A single sip of my latte sits still at the bottom of my mug begging for my attention. As I go on with my day, I wish you the best in yours. Count your blessings, not your shortcomings, and hold on to them. I cannot wait for my mom to get here tomorrow so we can share this experience together. Because let’s face it- as much as I enjoy the peace of being with myself at the moment, life and all of its’ experiences are meant to be shared between people you care about.

Cheers!

xo,

T

Some Kind of Inspiration

Every time I see the water it takes my breath away like it's my first time laying eyes on its' majesty. The ocean breeze plays with my hair and ignites a small fire in the depths of my soul. It's something like passion and I think I feel my heart skip a beat.  I look up to the sky painted with lovely little clouds that dance gracefully across their stage. In this moment, I know I am exactly where I am meant to be. I candidly whisper a thank you to God for such a beautiful day and all my tightened muscles relax. I remember to breathe.

The sweet and salty smell of the ocean air fills my senses and tiny little goosebumps rise up with the tiny little hairs on my arms. If ever I felt fear before, I feel it no more. I know that this must be exactly what trust feels like. For the first time in my life, an overwhelming sensation of peace rushes through my body like the rapids rush through their ever evolving path. It's like the warm rays of the sun hitting my bare skin have penetrated far beneath the surface. I owe it all to the man upstairs, really. It is as if every care I have in the world has already been taken care of. I have never felt so loved before. I think it comes from some combination of confidence and faith, with faith at the helm. Worry becomes a word of the past, much like a word from some foreign language I have never heard before. I didn't even know it existed.

I look across the sand and across the sea and even though that gentle ocean breeze still fingers the strands of my hair, the water looks like glass. Smooth. Calm. Everything stands still. I drop to my knees and time freezes in an instant I pray will last forever. I need this clarity. I was desperate for a moment like this. Night after night I prayed for the kind of purity and the kind of clarity you only witness the morning after a heavy night's rainfall. My breaths grow deeper and deeper, still. I'll tell you about the most beautiful feeling in the world. And although it's just a feeling, I can see it with my own eyes right in front of me like it was placed there purposefully. A feeling that can be seen? Such a rarity. My mind wonders how many times one can be blessed with such a gift in their lifetime.

Everything just feels so connected to everything else. I feel like depending on others isn't such a bad thing, like we are meant to share our lives and ourselves with one another. And as I stand here by myself on the rocks overlooking the sand and the sea, I know I am not alone. It's almost as if every important person I love in my life is right here beside me. That's when all my beliefs about life and love took on some kind of concrete realness.

Let me take you out on those rocks with me. I want you to feel what it feels like to be whole. I want the stiff salt air to burn a sweet impression into your memories. One that lasts a lifetime. I want the tiny hairs on your arms to dance upon their happy goosebumps. I want the world to be still for you and your breaths to grow deeper and deeper still. Most importantly, I want you to feel as if you've never been this loved before.